[Saturday, June,18th, 2005] 1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you. 2. I will then tell what song reminds me of you. 3. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be. 4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you. 5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you. 6. I will tell you what color you remind me of. 7. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you. 8. Put this in your journal. [17]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

...LoNg AsSsSs WeEkEnD... [Monday, May,30th, 2005] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | Fab.-So Into You ] Ok so this weekend was pretty good overall, this is how it went down... Friday- Checked in the hotel round 6 then played sum poker with some a the boys n caught a glimpse a rachel n ashley lol then i ate n watched Hitch which was freakin hilarious then went to bed at like 2. Saturday- Woke up at 6 30 cuz our game was at 8 30, had nothing to eat, walked around the hotel lookin 4 people then got ready n left for the game. We was up 2-0 then at half it was 2-2 then 3-2 them (sum team from ohio) then with like 4 minutes left one our boys score 3-3 then i scored 4-3 then with like a muinute left they scored 4-4, good game overall, nice wake up call. Went bck to the hotel, chilled with the boys, left for another game, played like shit, halftime was like 40 minutes cuz there was a big ass storm, then it got really fucking hott....well, we won 1-0, which was enough but not good. Then went bck to the hotel, changed n went to Champps with the Vohwhinkles which was pretty badass, then went bck to the hotel, chilled in the hot tub with rach n ashley who were about to beat sum lil kids asses cuz they was touchin em haha. Then went to the Crew game with the team, my bro, me n justin tore that shit up, pretty badass, then we went bck to the hotel again, hot tub with rach n ashley till 11. Then around 11 30 me n ryan went up to get eric but ended up stayin in the halls tlkin to rachel n ashley, then ryan left, n me, rachel n ashley tlked 4 a while, then ashley went to sleep n me n rachel tlked for another while/took pictures of each other like crazy lol then at like 1 45 or so i went to bed. Sunday- Woke up at 6 for an 8:15 game, then the tournament director called n said the game was cancelled cuz the team had dropped out, so everyone had waken up for no reason, but i couldnt sleep lol so me n the Butlers n Eric went to Bob Evans for breakfast then bck to the hotel for sum pool action lol. Afterwards, at like 2 we all went to watch The Longest Yard which is a funny ass movie, it was good....Then we went bck to the hotel n packed up n left. Our finals were at 5 45 n we went n the ref was bullshit, as were the linesmen and i got red carded with like 5 minutes left in the game for tellin the linesmen to stop being a hometown ref n to call it both ways...it was bullshit, but o well, now i guess i have to miss one a my league games this year? which isnt bad cuz we play the worst team in our league this weekend, but it means no Sam, no me n no coach...Then we went to Donato's for sum badass pizza then i left my phone on top a the car and drove away, and now i have no phone!! YAY :/ which sucks cuz i had everything in there n i had the baddest pic a rachel, but i guess ill just have to take another lol.....well that was my weekend, ended off pretty bad, 2nd place, no phone...but o well....... Lookin forward to hangin out with rachel, we had a nice tlk....and now i start workin at the pool tomorro....gonna start rackin in sum good money....lookin forward to a good summer.... Comment...... [4]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

PeRfEcT [Monday, May,23rd, 2005] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Ben Folds Five- Luckiest ] Exactly how im feelin.....if only i could tell u :/ I don’t get many things right the first time In fact, I am told that a lot Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls Brought me here And where was I before the day That I first saw your lovely face? Now I see it everyday And I know That I am I am I am The luckiest What if I’d been born fifty years before you In a house on a street where you lived? Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike Would I know? And in a white sea of eyes I see one pair that I recognize And I know That I am I am I am The luckiest I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you Next door there’s an old man who lived to his nineties And one day passed away in his sleep And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days And passed away I’m sorry, I know that’s a strange way to tell you that I know we belong That I know That I am I am I am The luckiest PLEASE.......just one chance? Talkin to ChElZ always makes the situation easier.....THANK YOU CHELSEAAAA I wish life were easier....but this is how it goes..... [1]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

I NEED YOU [Monday, May,23rd, 2005] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Big Boy-Mis ojos lloran por ti ] El tiempo paso como una estrella fugas, Y nuestro amor falleció sin razón baby Quisiera volver aquel tiempo otra vez Y poderte detener, pues ya no puedo... Sin tu amor, no sé que valla ha hacer conmigo Sin tu amor, no se cual será mi destino Sin tu amor, el mundo caerá sobre mí....... Baby.. Quisiera volver ha amarte, volver a quererte, Volver a tenerte cerca de mí girl... mis ojos lloran por ti. Quisiera volver ha amarte, volver a quererte, Volver a tenerte cerca de mí girl... mis ojos lloran por ti. Me haces tanta falta y no lo puedo negar, No se como de mi vida te pudiste marchar, Arrancaste mi corazón como un trozo de papel Jugaste con mi vida y ahora me pregunto porque, Porque tuve que enamorarme de ti, Quererte como te quise y luego te perdí Yo creo que eso no es justo antes los ojos de dios, Te di tanto amor y tu me pagaste con dolor. Pero algún día te darás cuenta lo que sentía por ti. Y pensaras de mí aunque estés lejos de mí, Ahora solo me quedan aquellos recuerdos Y en mi corazón una voz que dice te quiero.. Sin tu amor, no sé que valla ha hacer conmigo Sin tu amor, no se cual sea mi destino Sin tu amor, el mundo caerá sobre mí.......... Dime si algún día chica yo te falle, Cometí mis errores pero jamás te fui infiel Nunca me atreví abandonarte sin pensar, En la cosa bonita que entre nosotros pudieron pasar, Tus besos, tus carisias, tu forma de hacer el amor.. Son cosas que quedaron para siempre en mi corazón Y te juro que si algún día yo me vuelvo a enamorar, Me asegurare que ella tenga tu misma forma de amar, Créeme pues mi alma te habla y no te miente Mis ojos se acostumbraron para ti solamente Y hoy lloran porque tu presencia se disolvió, entre el odio, el rencor y la desesperación... Daría yo mi vida para volver junto a ti, Y vivir aquellos momentos que me hicieron tan feliz, Quisiera volver a amarte, volver a quererte Volver a tenerte cerca de mi girl, Mis ojos lloran por ti. Lloran.. por.. Ti.. Quisiera encontrar caminando en la ciudad, alguien que me diga donde tu estas.. Baby Deseo saber como es tu vida ahora sin mí Y saber si en verdad el amor en ti existe... Quisiera volver ha amarte, volver a quererte, Volver a tenerte cerca de mí... mis ojos lloran por ti. Siento en el alma un vacío tan grande, pues tu no te das cuenta todos los planes que arruinaste, Veo las olas del mar, como vienen y van, Y por cada ola que pasa, riego una lagrima más. Miro asta el cielo para ver si encuentro la luz Que me ilumine el camino asta donde estas tu.. Y poderte besar como si fuera la primera vez, Naufragar en tu corazón.. como un triste pez Que te ama, te quiere, por ti se enloquece Pero que lastima que las cosas no salen como uno quiere a veces Pero se quedan los momentos en mi mente para siempre.. Tortura mi sentimiento pues.. ya no puedo verte.. Mi corazón té extraña y no lo puedo controlar, Pues.. contigo fue con quien yo aprendí yo amar Quisiera volver ha amarte, volver a quererte, Volver a tenerte cerca de mí... girl. Mis ojos lloran por ti. Quisiera volver ha amarte, volver a quererte, Volver a tenerte cerca de mí... mis ojos lloran por ti Sin tu amor, no sé que vaya hacer conmigo, Sin tu amor, no se cual sea mi destino, Sin tu amor, el mundo caerá sobre mí....... If only you knew...how amazing we could be.... Choose One

[Thursday, May,19th, 2005] [ mood | amused ] [ music | I'm A Hustla ] Have you ever wanted to know something about me but never had the nerve to ask? Well, now is your chance to ask all and hear all. Ask anything, ask everything. And you may ask more than one question. Def. Stole that from Angie.......srrrry lol..but come on, give it a try, ill answer ur ?'s Choose One

[Monday, May,16th, 2005] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | 112- U already Kno ] Ok so i had some fun with this lol.......this one's 4 u....   cLiCk HeReE Choose One

[Thursday, May,12th, 2005] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | Guns N' Roses ] :D im in a good mood today, i think at least. I really thinkin im fallin for her, she aint tlked to me much, but i really think i am, i dno wat to do.....comment? Talk to me softly There's something in your eyes Don't hang your head in sorrow And please don't cry I know how you feel inside I've I've been there before Somethin's changin' inside you And don't you know Don't you cry tonight I still love you baby Don't you cry tonight Don't you cry tonight There's a heaven above you baby And don't you cry tonight Give me a whisper And give me a sigh Give me a kiss before you tell me goodbye Don't you take it so hard now And please don't take it so bad I'll still be thinkin' of you And the times we had... baby And don't you cry tonight Don't you cry tonight Don't you cry tonight There's a heaven above you baby And don't you cry tonight Friday the 13th.....im feelin lucky Sunday....Happy Birthday TO YOU.... [1]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

...My KiNd Of GiRl... [Tuesday, May,10th, 2005] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | F. Paez- Dale Alegria Mi Corazon ] You know, all the people that r callin me a pussy/fag/whatever u wanna call it for sayin wat i feel, go on right ahead, i mean it's not gonna stop me, n it sure as hell aint offending me, cuz if u think it is then u must not know me very well, but anyways, i was just thinking abiout the kind of girl i wanna have u kno lol and i got the perfect one....... I want a girl who doesnt mind being in sweats in public, because to me, a girl in baggy sweat pants and a big sweater n hell if u even wanna throw in sweaty from watever, is hott.....REAL hott. I want a girl who i can tlk to all night if i wanted to, and could stay up listening to me. I want a girl who actually cares for me and how i am, and really see's the real Pablo, n not the one everyone else see's. I want a girl that i can see at anytime of the day, and a smile comes upon me. I want a girl who I can watch sleep, hear breathe and stare into her eyes without her thinking it's weird. But most of all, i want a girl who can just be herself around me. None of this phony shit, i want a regular girl, who doesnt have to (in TUPACS words) "be all hollywood" to look good, a girl with natural beauty both inside and out. SO BASICALLY.....i want a girl who exists, but doesnt know i exist, so basically she doesnt exist. I'm gonna go something good this weekend, i'm gonna make her happy. Comment...Dnt care wat u say....... Lets hope for the best.... ...Y dale alegria alegria mi corazon, es lo unico que te pido almenos hoy... [6]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

[Tuesday, April,26th, 2005] [ mood | apathetic ] [ music | Pobre Diabla- Don Omar ] It's been a while........well i been thinkin about sumone......ALOT n i tried clalin her lol but she aint called bck, n i texted her, no luck there either lol. Figure out what this means and you'll get a bit more insight on the situation....... "Pobre diabla" se dice que se te a visto por la calle vagando llorando por un hombre que no vale un centavo "pobre diabla" llora por un "pobre diablo". Que note valoriso nunca y que nunca lo hara que solo te hizo llorar pero tu lo amas que no te valoriso cuando con besos te echizo que solo te utilizo y hasta te embarazo. "Pobre diabla"se dice que se te a visto por la calle vagando llorando por un hombre que no vale un centavo "Pobre diabla"llora por un "Pobre diablo" Sete oye llorar llorar solo llorar llorar ya no bailas mas llorar solo llorar llorar "Pobre diabla" se dice que se te a visto por la calle vagando llorando por un hombre que no vale un centavo. .....I knew someday i'd regret messing things up with you, but i have a good feeling about this....for once, i feel good about what im doing.... [7]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

[Wednesday, April,13th, 2005] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | NOTHING ] I WANT ALOT OF COMMENTS.....DNT MATTER WHAT THEY SAY, JUST BE NICE N COMMENT 1. State your completely honest opinion of me as a comment to this entry 2. Post anonymously 3. Be brutal and completely honest 4. Say as much or as little as you want 5. Dont feel afraid to say anything 6. If your reading this, you must comment! 7. Post this in your own journal [17]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

I Just Want a Chance.... [Tuesday, April,12th, 2005] [ mood | drained ] [ music | KCnJoJo- All My Life ] I just want a chance.....something i havent gotten in a long while. I want YOU to give me a chance. I don't care if i never get another chance in the world, yours will do. I swear not to mess this up, i mean, it's been 2 years straight that u've run through my head EVERY SINGLE day...i just wish you could look at me, i mean realllllly look at me, and see what i have to offer, I mean, i think u'd be pleased, because theres more to me than meets the eye, you just really have to look....Please, just think about it. I'm tired of hiding behind this smile, I wish i could come out and tell you how i feel, but i know it's worthless, because i'm going to tell you, and your not going to believe a word i say, because i'm Pabo right? and thats how i am, i cant be truthful, i cant speak a word of truth to girls, well thats bullshit, i wish you knew that because i have tried to tell you, and you play it off like nothing, you don't even think twice about oh, Pablo has feelings, Pablo actually opened up and told me what he was feeling, well thats NOT how i am, and i wish that you could see that, I really wish you could see how happy i get when i see you. But when you look at it, thats the problem, your never gonna really look at me and think, wow, Pablo's a really nice guy or Pablo this, Pablo that. I'm just getting really sick of this image i have, i wish i could start over. New high school, new image, but i'd want you there, even if it was just to see you every now n then :/ SOMEONE, please comment, just gimme sumthin to think about, help me out...please. [9]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

Anyone care to find out what's behind the mask? [Tuesday, April,5th, 2005] [ mood | confused ] [ music | 2Pac-Till' the End of Time ] Spring Break was horrible. Had an even worse ending. School sucks. It's worse cuz a Jessica passing away, but she's in a better place. This whole Jess passing has realllly got me thinking, and ive come to a conclusion...I'm completely and helplessly confused. I talked to Brittany today for the first time in months, and i basically just told her i miss havin her as a friend and that i wanted to start another friendship with her. I don't really know how that went, but i dnt think shes feelin the idea of being friends wit me again. What i really didnt tell her, was that i actually miss having her ALOT and i kno its been more than a year n we were real close for only a few months, but she was ALWAYS there n i really Appreciated that, but hey, life goes on you kno. On the other hand, i dnt know what to do anymore, i mean, i try opening up to people you know, but everything always backfires. The only REAL friend i can say is true is Danny and Brian, i mean im not complaining, the kids r awesome, but sometimes i think you kno, why are ppl so fake to me? I mean im like everyone else, i DO have a couple sides to me, no one seems to really wanna kno anything bout me tho, i just want a chance from sumone you know, im becoming more insecure with myself as time goes by, but i guess thats life? People honestly don't know how hard it is to be me. I JUST WANT A C H A N C E.....Well im really confused, anyone got advice....comment..please. Perhaps I was addicted to tha dark side Some where inside my childhood witnessed my heart die And even though we both came from the same places The money and the fame made us all change places How could it be through the misery That can't get past the hard times Made a true friend afraid to ask, for currency But you could run to me when you need me, I'll never leave I just needed someone to believe in, as you can see It's a small thang through and true What could I do? Real homies help ya get through, And coming new, he'd do tha same thang if he could Cuz in the hood true homies make you feel good And happy times we be acting up call tha cops Bringing the cease to tha peace that was on my block It never stop, when my mama ask me will I change I tell her yeah, but it's clear I'll always be tha same Until the end of time [Chorus: RL] So take, these broken wings Use your hands to come and heal me once again (Until the end of time) So I can fly away, until the end of time Until the end of time Until the end of time PM [5]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

Def. Not Home [Sunday, March,27th, 2005] [ mood | calm ] [ music | I LOVE LOUD KEYBOARDS ] Umm...lets see, well wednesday you know, i went home n slept alot, then i had conditioning. Then i went home and slept more. Thursday i woke up n me n my bro went to the HD (Home Depot) n got all this shit to make a soccer goal behind my house, which is pretty fukkin badass...not finished, but badass. Then after i ate, i went to conditioning again, went home then we ordered pizza, then i did nothing. Friday, i went to anthonys i think like after i woke up and chilled there, then i went to dannys where we left for brians, where i got to see mark n emily which i hadnt seen in a long time, then DUKE FUCKING LOST TO MSU come u fuckbags, what kind of a #1 seed loses to fucking Michigan State. Anyways i got home then i went to bed, then i woke up at like 6 n we drove up herrrr (T.O., CA boiiis lol) and i just chilled, went to look at sum shoes, none that really impressed me so im just gonna order them. Umm...i was supposed to call Lorenzo to do sumthing with him n Franco, but im sorta like just chillin this weekend, and gettin ready 4 the week, which i hope is fucking awesome (problem is i have Conditioning Mon-Thu. then practice Fri. then a scrimmage against the U-16ès sat. followed by our game at 12 at Oakland and i THINK a game Sunday, i dno) but its ok imma make the best of it. Todays Easter as u may know and i woke up feelin better than usual, really weird, i dreampt that i finally went up to see MEGAN n HEATHER again, really weird dream, but im lookin forward to the summer when i can see them, Megan in paticular. Then i woke up n watched a movie n i just got done having dinner with hthe fam a bit ago and now im on here trying to find sumthing to do. Well i was really likin all the shit ppl been sayin bout my last entry, so leave me a comment again, i like readin wat ppl think a me, if u already wrote smthin, write again, tell me sumthin diff., sumthin new, dnt care if its good or bad, im gettin to the point when i dnt really care abt the ppl that tlk shit abt me, im confused about alot of things, but im gettin to a point a bein really omfortable bout who i am and how i act n the shit i do n dnt do that other ppl criticize. Comment PM [8]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

[Tuesday, March,22nd, 2005] [ mood | awake ] [ music | R.Kelly- I Wish (ReMiXx) ] Ok, this is how its gonna go, very simple.... 1). If your my friend, post sumthing, tell me how ive been acting, if im a good friend, what u think a me. 2). If u have a secret obsession over me i'd love to hear about it (lol im jkz) 3). Tell me all the things that piss you off about me. I actually wanna start hearin wat ppl gotta say abt me u kno....just put it out there, make me happy..... Comment, or I HATE YOU haha [10]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

[Tuesday, March,15th, 2005] [ mood | confused ] [ music | KC n JoJo- Crazy ] Hmmm....today im in a good mood, but when i like sit here n start tlkin bout myself u kno, i sorta spill alot n i dno, i dnt ind ppl knowin wats goin on wit me, sorta lets em know im not the asshole everyone see's me as everyday. Umm, I SAW CASSIE FINNALLY TODAY =D hadn't seen her round' in a while, n yea, im so completely confused bout wats goin on wit me. I mean i cant stop thinking about Cassie, but then at the same time im thinkin of someone else, but Cassie seems to be on my mind more. It's weird cuz i see like kids i dnt even kno with girlfriends n stuff n i dno, i sorta want that sumtiems u kno? not cuz o i wanna do u or whatever, i mean shit call me wat u want but i aint ALL about that...i wanna have sumone u kno like to talk to, sumone there, sumone i could spend everyday with forever and not care, and i mean yea, i dnt kno cassie ALL that well, but i mean i think i could spend long periods of time wit her....i kno, it might sound creepy to u ppl but i dno, its weird from my perspective. And this is the problem with me i can't make my mind up on who i actually want to get to know really well, and anyways both girls i do want to get to kno (cassie n steph) wouldnt give 2 shits wat happens to me from today till tomorro u kno, like its not like it is for me for them, like they dnt get smiles on their faces everytime they see me, like i do bout them, and believe it or not, just like seein them around u kno, it like makes my day sumwhat better? Like honestly, people might think they know how i am but just like lookin at me n shit, but thats completely wrong, im so much more, n no one really cares to like know me for me u kno, only a few ppl can actually say they kno me, n i mean ive fucked up alot a things, like believe it or not ppl, i think freshman year, comin in, one a the ppl that knew me best at rochester was B-Hop, n yea, everyone knows how she dnt tlk to me n shit, n why's that? cuz i fukked shit up, im known for stupid things like that, then ppl r like yea u play girls like i had Tara tellin me that Bri told her that, well i got sumthin for ya BRI NELSON GO FUCK YOURSELF thats wat i got. Its bitches like that that fuck ppl reputations up, i mean yea, i used to play girls, n ill admitt it, but i mean ive changed.... im not like some ppl at school (no names) which everyone KNOWS play girls but do ppl care bout them? no, why cuz they're amazing athletes so everyone licks their balls. That aint me, im done with that shit, u get to a point where u start noticing all the shit u done wrong in life u kno, and yea im only 15 but i look bck on shit, i mean i kno how it feels to be played, believe me i do, and it aint a good feelin, so im done with that shit. I think ppl r scared off by the fact that i have that reputation, and im tellin u, honestly, if u get to kno me, u'll kno i go wayy deeper than that, and that that isnt how i am. Leave a comment?....PAIGE ur awesome, thanks for all the stuff u been leavin 4 me :D Now I've finally realized That you are my true love And I had a lot of time to think And you're all I seem to keep think, to keep thinking of, yeah Now I know I need you Each and every day I can't live without you So don't run away Baby you said that you love me So why are you leavin me Why why why why? I can't think Thinkin' about this crazy day I lose sleep Just to daydream about you baby (oooh) PM [19]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

LoNg WeEkEnD iS rIgHt... [Monday, March,14th, 2005] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Omarion- O ] Ok so we'll start with friday, got outta school, chilled round the house then at like 7 or so shivam picked me up wit J and mario and anthony n we were gonna meet up with kaitlyn n all them at the Bell but we decided to go to Red Knapps cuz i felt like a malt n a cheeseburger lol SO we drove around for like 15 minutes tryin to find a parkin spot round there n we did, then we went in n ordered our shit, and anthony was pullin like a micheal jackson or sumthin cuz he was like giving this little blck kid (like 5 yrs old) all these weird looks and he was like waving at him funny, i dno....anyways then the girls showed up n we chilled there 4 a while then we went to BG's dad's house. Chilled, watched TV played Ping Pong, same old shit. Umm then everyone went home n us guys played Spades then we left. Saturday started workin at Kruse n Muer fucking 8 in the mornin till like fucking 4, it was killer, but it aint hard. Then i went home n Me n J went to this girl Tara's house from stoney to chill wit her n her friend Lauren, that wasnt bad, the shit that went on was pretty weird tho lol. Ummm then i went home after an hour of trying to find a ride cuz J told me we had a ride n we didnt. Um, ever since like early saturday, I dno why but i havent been able to stop thinkin bout Cassie lol it's weird, im a loser, i called on Saturday night after States (which they placed 1st in as everyone knows by now) and i wasnt expecting her to answer, n she did, n i dno why like couldnt tlk? lol nothing came out and it's weird cuz like ive tlked on the phone with her b4 u kno. So i hung up like the loser i am lol then she called bck, n i just u kno told ehr congrats n shit n told her to call me if she felt like tlkin, which i knew she wasnt gonna call but o well. Then i went to sleep and woke up at like 11 cuz i had to work from 12 to 5 again. Then i worked, which wasnt bad at all, and i ate after work n went home, as soon as i got home i got ready n left for soccer, we played pretty damn good, but we couldnt fucking finish, i was gettin pissed at ppl, but we scored with like 2 minutes left n we won 1-0. Then i came home n i went to ants to play Risk, in which Oleg (the russian kid) go figure, raped us cuz it took him like 45 minutes to take over the world. Then i called Cassie again, cuz i felt like hearin her lol weird i kno, dnt b creeped out Cassie....Then i went home and i got online n tlked to Cassie 4 a bit, but she kept like not answerin, prlly cuz she was wit her friends, but it happens u kno.....Then i went to bed n woke up today at like 1 35 exactly lol. Then i ate and now im online, and im hopin Cassie gets on? just so i can tlk to her. SRRY TO THE PPL THAT THINK I WRITE TOO MUCH BUT I DNT KNOW HOW TO MAKE THOSE THINGYS WHERE U CAN LIKE MAKE A LINK TO IT U KNO. gReat sOng know you heard me say it Time and time again That they would rock your world And change your life But I can't blame them Cause you make a nigga wanna get involved Wanna get the drawers Well I'm gone put my bid in And get at you No disrespect but I want it bad as they do The only difference is they look out for themselves But I'm doin' it just to hear you yell..yeah I honestly am to the point where i don't know what i want anymore, and i don't know if what im feeling is real or not. Choose One

...WoW... [Thursday, March,10th, 2005] [ mood | sad ] [ music | Genuwine- Differences ] nat·u·ral adj. Present in or produced by nature: a natural pearl. Of, relating to, or concerning nature: a natural environment. Conforming to the usual or ordinary course of nature: a natural death. beau·ty n. pl. beau·ties The quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or color, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality. One that is beautiful, especially a beautiful woman. Thats exactly what she has...i could (in a non-creepy way) stare at her all day, and still be amused by it. She's got natural beauty, and i told her, but she obviously felt uncomfortable about it and didn't respond. I know that no one knows who im tlkin bout, but i know that everybody knows her, and i know that everyone knows she's too far out there for me, she aint 4 Pablo. I mean i don't have a problem with it, I've always wanted wat i can never have, but it's always my fault, and this time i know it. I mean i had my chances and ive heard stories, and ive never really known anyone to do sum things she did just to see me? I had her right in front of me and i turned from her. I wish i could go bck to when i was a stupid freshman and do things over, things would be so much better now, just knowing that i at least had the chance, even if it lasted only a day i would still be satisfied. But now i have to see her everyday knowing its all my fault, that i fucked things up, and i have to watch guys not use her use her but be with her, and know that they dnt care as much about her as i do. I wanna pik the phone up and tell her everyday that she's gorgeous, that she's an amazing person, and that my day actually brightens when i see her, but i can't, cuz i kno things owuld change, and i'd rather have something of her, even if its just a smile and hi everyday to bring a smile to my face, then nothing at all. I wonder, would u care if i rode my bike to lifetime, just to see if u were there? Even if i didn't know if u were there or not? I know i messed up, but open ur eyes, and ur heart a little bit(?) and give me a chance, i promise you it's worth it. I would do anything, just to make u understand how amazing u r to me. PM P.S.-------> All u ladies, comment n tell me if u would think this was creepy if someone said this to you, or wat. I could use some advice also....CHEL-C that also means we need to tlk. [9]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

My Life Completely Sucks [Monday, February,28th, 2005] [ mood | sad ] [ music | Aventura- Obsecion ] Yea....i absoloutely hate my life. I don't know why, i always fuk shit up, and i figure it out a loooooooong time later, like try a year or so. I mean i had this shit right in front of my eyes, but i chose to fuk it up. Now she sits there (the most naturally beautiful girl in our school) as if nothing happened, which basically nothing really did, but i wish i woulda realized earlier wat i was going to miss out on. I mean, i swear, the one risk i ever took with a girl, i took with her, i had confidence when i first went to talk to her, n things un-raveled themselves from there. It worked out, till a few days later, when everything was all fucked up again. I meani love seeing her everyday, because shes absoloutely gorgeous, but i dnt think she acknowledges that im there you know? i don't know, i sort of want to start talking to her again, but it never works when i try. Son la cinco e la mañana y yo no he dormido nada, pensando en tu belleza, loco voy a parar. el insomnia es mi castigo, tu amor sera mi alivio y hasta que no seas mia no vivire en paz. Hoy conoci tu novio, pequeño y no buenmozo y se que el no te quiere, por su forma de hablar. Ademas tu no lo amas, porque el no da la talla, no sabe complacerte como lo haria yo, pero tendre paciencia porque el no es competencia, por eso no hay motivos, para yo respetarlo. Great song....basically all true u kno, if u can read it lol. I don't know, i wish she would take sort of the same chance i did with her and ask me to sadies ( vice versa a while bck ) but i would put my life that that isnt going to happen, because i mean she "her" and im pablo n shit like that dnt work out. I sorta been feeling like this since like the day after homecoming like last year, cuz i knew i had fukked sumthin up that i'd regret. Honest, i dnt know how i messed it up but yea, i did. Umm...on a brighter side, we definetely had a nial-biter in the O.Y finals this weekend but we won 2-1 in P.K's ( http://www.oaklandyard.com/2nd%20session%20champs.htm ) U-16 boys. My weekend was pretty fun, i chilled wit ant n danny n shit, all good. Mrs. Bamberg's 6th hour is by far the best english class ever, no topping us, and theres another reason i love that class so much ( ;D ) but we'll leave that for u to figure out. So don't be gay and comment on the LJ......... [10]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

Mm Hmmm [Saturday, February,19th, 2005] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | Bone Thugz n Harmony ft 2Pac- Thug Love ] Um, yea been a long ass time since i updated. Nothing really knew about me, im still me :D chillin round here n there, still the same pussy thats afraid to talk to her u kno.... Today i went to the game, and u kno i must say, she always look good, but just when a chiks like wearing nothing special u kno n just "them" is when u really see how amazing they look, well yea, camille looked awesome, n she sat like a few rows down, n i was like gonna go sit n talk to her, but u kno, im pablo, so i pussied out lol. Afterwards me josh stephan shi danny bri n mike n hillary n kiki went to brians, which wasnt bad, we watched the Rookie vs Sophmore game. Umm then hillary gave me a massage lol and i like jumped on her bck n shit, it was fun. Ummm....basically all break i been chillin at brians dads house, wit bri n sra n playing ping pong which im absoloutely obsessed abt right now lol. Monday, was fukkin awesome, me mario danny saad etrit shi jj brian and mike went to the pistons game, we rode in the H2 that picked us up here, then we had a dinner buffet at the "Captain's Quarters" then we had like seats to the game that were like 25 rows up, it was pretty sweet, i touched Ben Wallace's fro, and Rip gave me a high five HAHA. Um, thats pretty much been my week, oh yea, and me n Bri was layin on brians dads couch the other night, when i found something very interesting about her, which i used to my advantage and tortured her with!! Umm yea, i can't wait to hang out wit her again, it'll b fun....always is. So yea, i gotta go clean my room, cuz the DirecTV ppl r comin early tomorro so they can hook my shit up in mine n my sis's rooms cuz they need to like put the cables from downstairs here, so yea.....I can't wait to start working, i think i might get TiVO if my parents let me, but i aint go the 50 bucks extra, but celeste do, cuz shes gay n saves her money lol. But yea, im out..... ......YOU looked AMAZING..... [5]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

[Saturday, February,12th, 2005] [ mood | confused ] [ music | 112- Cupid ] I feel like talking to chelsea, for some odd reasonn....CHELSEA<<< i wanna talk to you lol :D how odd [1]...6 million ways to die...| Choose One

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